So in a few days I will be turning 31, and as I’m typing this my fingers seem to keep moving towards the 2 instead of 3, because I am not ready to be yet another year older. I’m not going to lie to you, I am not only, not ready, I’m totally freaking out. I feel so unfulfilled. I feel like all the people around me are moving at a steady pace and I’m stuck. Stuck in the same place I’ve been for a really long time. I don’t know how to explain it except that I feel unsuccessful and honestly alone. I love The Lazy Girls Kitchen but lets be honest this isn’t exactly the hit that I thought that it would be. I am starting to think that passion is no longer enough, and in a world where you are competing with millions of other people, I’m starting to realize that passion alone won’t get you far.
When I turned 30 I made a list of things that I wanted to accomplish, and well lets just say that I still don’t have my six pack (unless we’re talking about beer) and the only number my bank account resembles is 911. I am going into my 31st year of life more confused than ever! The 21 year old me thought that by now I would have my own cooking show on The Food Network, and be married with 4 or 5 little ones running around. Instead I’m sitting in my 2 bedroom apartment, alone, drinking a bottle of wine (yes people I said bottle not glass) crying and reminiscing about what I failure I am.
I have put everything into making The Lazy Girls Kitchen a reality and I’m so proud of myself for making this dream come true, but I am still so afraid of failing in yet another thing in my life. Thinking that at 32 I’ll be a bridesmaid at yet another wedding thinking about where I went wrong, and having to be asked for the hundredth time why I’m still single, and if I’m “playing for the other team” instead. When I first started this website I told my friend that one day I will almost be as successful as my hero Giada, because let’s face it theirs only one Giada! Anyways, I told my best friend that when I get there, we are going to Italy and we are going on a gondola ride! And so, for my 31st year of life I’m only going to make one goal for myself, to make this website what I know it can be. To let my cooking speak for itself and let me personality shine through the food that I make. And for this I need your help. I want you to open your hearts and your pallets (yes pallets, not wallets lol) to my food. To getting to know me through the only way I know how, cooking. So please join me in this adventure that is life.
Here’s to going to Italy in June of 2019!